In Which Kia Gets Her Groove On

So, after whining extensively about the difficulties of leveling, I realized this evening that I should have saved up. 'Cause seriously, even though the forties are my favorite vanilla WoW leveling times, there's one thing to bemoan, at length.

Baby Kia is currently sitting at 45, sitting pretty, actually:

Dude. Those pants? Totally hot, aren't they? My legs are Seksi For The Win in them, I thinks.

Sorry. Moving on...

As I was saying, Baby Kia is sitting at 45, and as I was perusing my quest log to determine the next course of action, I found myself saying to Jake (since it would be stupid for me to talk to myself; talking to a CGI cat is much preferable),

"Jake, I have quests in Feralas, Tanaris, Stranglethorn Vale, and the Hinterlands. Plus a couple random turn-ins in Darnassus."

...

Let me examine my world map for a moment here.

...

It seems I was correct... those quests are located in the four corners of the Old World. The only way for them to be farther apart would be for me to be Horde. Sigh. Do you KNOW how long it takes to get from Feralas to the Hinterlands?? Huh? HUH?? Or from Darnassus to Tanaris? That flight's over 11 minutes, but it thankfully doesn't mean taking a boat. I always seem to Fail at Boats, for whatever reason.

But vurry vurry far apart quest zones aside, I really do like leveling in the forties. There's lots of cool stuff. Like taking pictures of turtles. Seriously, how much fun is that? And I've always been a fan of pirates, so killing them by the dozens in Tanaris is no hardship. Although, this particular time, I happened to be trying to kill the pirates at the same time as a group of five Horde. It wasn't pretty. At least, not for me.

That brings up another thought. (Me?? Scatterbrained and unfocused? How could you even say such a thing!)

I was flying to Hinterlands, and these messages popped up in my chat box:

And I grimaced. Not for myself, because as previously mentioned, I was going to the Hinterlands. Southshore was simply a layover, kinda like flying through O'Hare. Naturally, nobody in their right mind actually STOPS there. In this case, my grimace was purely for the poor mid-thirty alt that actually WAS in Southshore, most surely being killed over and over and over and sweet mercy over again, simply because there was some kind of jerk Horde (probably a rogue) who just couldn't restrain their enthusiasm for corpse-camping and griefing. It made me sad, even in the midst of the relief I felt for not being the one getting it in the rear this time.

Oh? I haven't mentioned my EPIC FAIL AT PVP? Forgive me. I'm an Epic PVP Fail. I suck. Big time. I mean, major suckage. Anyone and anything can kill me at any point. And partially because of that, I HATE PVP WITH ALL THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS.

"But Feathers!" you say, "You're a hunter! Hunters are pretty good at PvP!"

Sure, hunters might be good at it. I'm totally lousy. Rogues kill me, paladins kill me, druids kill me, warriors kill me, baby murlocs with rattles kill me. EVERYONE kills me. I usually don't even realize I'm being attacked until I'm already at half health and then it's spam a thousand buttons in the hopeless attempt to at least deal a bit of damage to the stupid rogue that's sapped me to death.

(It's true. I don't like rogues. Not at all. Let it go.)

So I hate pvp, and at times, I hate Blizzard for those times that I'm forced to do it. I usually avoid it like the plague, but there's those rare occasions that I can't and then I moan and grumble and whine.

Anyway, Baby Kia is cruising along, spending most of her time flying about trying to get to the places where she's supposed to do quests. It is at this point in the game that hearthstones become a strategic advantage. I clutch at mine with all the terror of a small child left orphaned in a big, cold world. Currently, said hearth is in the Hinterlands. No doubt that four quests from now, it will be reset to Gadgetzan. And four quests after that, Feathermoon. And after that... tune in next week for the conclusion!

But at least I'm out of Southshore. /shudders

In Which Kia Faces the Terrors of the Thirties

Ladies, back me up here.

At some point in your life, probably about your mid- to late-twenties, you came to a sudden and terrifying realization...

You are nearly thirty.

/shudder

"But Feathers!," you say. "It's just a number! It doesn't mean anything! Everyone faces their thirties, and almost everyone survives it! Besides, Thirty is the New Twenty!"

/sigh

First of all, I reserve the right to smack you upside the head if you ever again say that something is the new something else. I won't hit you hard, but I will hit you. Something is NOT the new Something Else. That statement is so illogical it makes me cringe.

Second, I don't care that almost everyone gets over the Terrors of Thirty eventually; my point is that for however briefly, Thirty is a ridiculously scary proposition. It means your not-single friends are starting to have kids and buy houses (actually, some of your single friends may also be having kids and buying houses, but I make no judgements here) while you are still cruising bars trying to find A Decent Guy who isn't a psychopath or an insurance salesman. Good luck with that. It means a great deal of angst as you contemplate your lack of a career direction and your dead-end job that you only manage to drag yourself to every day because That Guy In Marketing is a hottie. Which is a stupid reason to go to work, but if it means that you make it there so that you can make enough dough to (hopefully) pay the piper, we'll live with it. It means that you are forced to endure, at great length, your mother, grandmother, various diverse aunties and half the rest of the world querying you at great length about when they might expect you to Settle Down and Have Grandchildren. It is a horrible, horrible time, and for those of you who got through the Terrors of Thirty quickly, my hat is off to you. For those of us on the edge of the abyss, looking down into the empty darkness, give us a chance to catch our breaths. We'll get over it eventually.

...

"FEATHERS!"

...

I'm so sorry. Got a little caught up, there. Moving right along...

So the thing is, WoW isn't any different. RL or WoW, there is no difference - the thirties are full of terrible, horrid things. I always like leveling, until I get to about 27ish, maybe 28. 29 if Ashenvale is good to me. However, once you get to 30, the world grinds to a slow, freakishly awful stop. It means the barren, sunken miasmas that are Dustwallow Marsh, the Badlands, Desolace, Stranglethorn Vale, and the Swamp of Sorrows.

Seriously, I HATE leveling 30-40. The zones are ugly, save for the one saving grace that is Hillsbrad. However, Hillsbrad has its own personal hell in Southshore. Come on, people! It's been FIVE YEARS and you STILL can't find anything better to do than to go to Southshore and one-shot toons fifty levels below you, and then just for good measure, kill the Gryphon Master so that they can't get away?

(Yes, as a matter of fact, I was ganked last night. At length. By an 80 in Ulduar gear. Yes, it was a rogue. Rogues suck. The proportion of ridiculously big jerks is SO. MUCH. HIGHER when it comes to rogues then in the rest of the population that it makes me cry. What is it about playing a rogue that is so attractive to the jerks among us?)

Anyways, so besides the fact that the surroundings are deadly depressing, the quest lines are also deadly dull. There are no epic quest lines in the thirties. There aren't even any reasonably good quest lines. Hit 30, and you're looking at rep grinding in Desolace (good thing that Centaur Ears have such a low drop rate; you have to kill them by the score), getting smeared with some seriously Nasty Stuff while going fishing, and spending days and days killing stupid trolls. Oh, yes! And let's not forget all the Really Terrific Guys you meet... like this one. And him. And of course, this sadistic, kill-happy tyrant.

Fortunately, like all things in life, if you are willing to push through, the thirties do eventually come to an end. Baby Kia is sitting just under 39 right now. 70 or 80 thousand more xp, and I'll be able to do all kinds of fun things like wear shiny mail! And go to the Hinterlands! And after about 45, the road to Outlands is all but done! Things get better after 40, I really believe it. I'm holding on to that.

Until then, I'm still cruising the bars, looking for Centaur Ears.

In Which Kia Epically Fails

So, I haven't been playing Big Kia very much, having been concentrating on leveling Baby Kia, but I logged on tonight during LOKI's regular raid time so that I can run some Oracle dailies and flirt with the LOKI boys.

(No, not really. I mean, yes, I flirt with the LOKI boys, but not during raid times. At least, not with the ones in the raid. After all, my schtick is to be distractingly cute and so forth, but I'm not stupid, either.)

Anyways, so I runs over to the Basin and starts shooting up Frenzyhearts and so forth. And as I'm running around the Basin, I starts to frown most seriously. Something is amiss.

No Ferocious Inspiration? Hmm. Where's my Kindred Spirits buff? Why isn't the Big Red Condom popping up above my head? What do you mean, I can't go BigAndRed??? I LIVE TO GO BIGANDRED!! WHAT'S THE DEAL, HERE?

I wrap things up and hearth back to Dalaran to repair, because there's something fishy going on and I'm starting to think that it might be more than just a really, really, really laggy server. I'm not killing things nearly as fast as I should be, and I'm taking like serious damage and so is Jake and stuff is breaking on me. And as I'm repairing, going through bags and so forth, an accidental key smash brings up the following image:

Captain, I believe I have tracked down the problem.

I seriously, SERIOUSLY need my WingWoman back. Sigh.

Cataclysmic Events

I suppose that in order to preserve my claim to WoW bloggerhood, I really ought to comment on the news coming out of BlizzCon.

Here's my comment:

...

See, I know that they're posting a tentative 2010 release. But at the earliest, that's still AT LEAST four months away. In my opinion, that's more than long enough for the world to end, much less for the wiz kids at Blizzard to change what they've announced. While I'm really excited about some of the things that they've announced (retooling Azeroth, anyone?), I'm not gonna hold my breath until I can see an end in sight. Like, right around the time they announce the date of the release.

Okay, one more comment. Is it just me, or are Worgen totally slanted toward Huntery-types? Specifically, hunters that do skinning? Good heavens, about three minutes after Cataclysm is released, all the Alliance starting areas will be swarmed with new Worgen Hunters. Provided, of course, that making Hunters use Focus like bloody Rogues, damn their eyes, and that making our shots cost 30 to 60 Focus doesn't completely nerf Hunters into oblivion. It's possible.

The Gnome That Hated Me

There is a gnomish questgiver in Stonetalon Mountains. His name is Gaxim Rustfizzle, and he hangs out with this night elf Sentinal chick on the Windshear Crag. He is a jerk. The entire point to his existence is to make my life a nightmare.

"But, Feathers! He doesn't want to make your life a nightmare!! He wants you to go blow up the Venture Co.! Blowing up things is fun!!"

This I know full well, and I adore blowing things up. Which is why in my mid-20s, I'm always eager and looking forward to the opportunity to lay some serious beat-down on those wretched unenvironmentally-friendly deforesters and loggers that occupy like HALF THE ZONE. Seriously, trying to run through there? Which one has to do in order to get to where one needs to go? Nightmare, honestly.

Anyway, in order to facilitate said combustion, Hizzoner Rustfizzle sends you to Ironforge (yes, the other side of the bloody world, I know, I know) to talk to this other gnome jerk in order to get some combustables. Said Ironforge gnome jerk requires you to come back to him with...

4 Minor Mana Potions

and 2 Elixirs of Minor Fortitude.

Now, when I play on Darkspear and want to level a new hunter (it happens a lot), whenever I get to Stonetalon Mountains and our friend Gaxim, I simply pop on to Big Kia and head for the Auction House to check for the pots there first. I can almost always score the Mana pots. However. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE ELIXIRS ON THE AUCTION HOUSE. NEVER. NOT ONCE.

Therefore, my next step is to call on my friendly neighborhood guild alchemist. We've got several. I send him or her (depending on who happens to be online at the time) the mats, he or she gives me the pots. It's quite simple. The pots go in the post office, Kia goes offline, and New Alt logs in with the quest requirements waiting for her (I always play girls, always) in a nice tidy mail package.

However.

Baby Kia does not have the benefit of a friendly neighborhood alchemist, as she is located on a new server. Likewise, being the first roll on said server, she is broke as anything. Ergo, even if she could find the pots on the AH (which she couldn't), she hasn't got the Benjamins, you know what I'm saying?

What to do, what to do? I could try to run around and make friends on New Server with a Friendly Neighborhood Alchemist. This could take a long time, plus Friendly Neighborhood Alchemist is unlikely to want to just give me potions out of the good of his or her heart, savvy? I could just ignore the quests, I suppose. Blasphemy!! I like the blow-up-the-Venturists quests.

Solution! Alt.

Internet, meet Kiamagi, baby mage and journeyman alchemist.

I realize that this might seem to be a radical step, but stick with me. The elixir recipe is at 50, so then the only trouble is finding enough Mageroyal for the Mana pots. I managed it just before dinging level 14. Honestly, the investment of time and questing was worth it to me in order to always be able to blow up Venture Co., no matter how many alts I roll on New Server.

And here's a secret. /Looks around nervously for Hunter Police.

Um. I kinda like playing her. Not as much as a hunter, but well enough that I'm considering maybe taking her a little farther, once Little Kia grows up and goes to live in Northrend. Except, she runs outta mana after, like, two mobs. That gets better eventually, right? Also, she's terrible squishy. I don't think that ever does get better, right?

*Note to self - find unsquishy people to play with before sending Little Magi to Southshore.*

One more note... in case you've never done it, leveling in Westfall at night is CREEPY.

Yeah, the moon is pretty cool, but seriously. All the mobs blend in with the yellow and you fall over them before you know they're there, and when you're only level 12, they hit HARD. Especially those bloody birds. Don't believe me? Take a baby to Westfall at like 3am Your Server Time and come back and tell me you weren't totally freaked out. I'll smile and nod, but I won't believe you. Westfall + night = CREEPY.

Where I Learn Things About Leveling That I Didn't Learn The First Time Around

Okay, so I started playing WoW last August, due entirely to my good RL friend Yttrium called Ava (her first main was Avalei, and it sort of never wore off), who has since abandoned me and gone to live in a state Far, Far Away. We used Recruit-A-Friend, and Ytt started a druid called Deciduous (cause druids can be trees, see? C'mon, it's clever!) and I began the descent into madness known as Kialesse.

Now, the thing about RAF is that your accounts are linked, see, so whenever you play together, you GET THREE TIMES THE XP. Groovy, yes? Plus, since it's RAF, you're almost certainly playing with someone who has a high-level if not max character and who kind of knows what's going on. This was terrific for me. I didn't have a clue. When I started playing, if you were to look up "clueless" in the WoWtionary, you would find a picture of Kia, looking... um... clueless. So Ava, who was at that time a core raider with LOKI, shook her head, laughed at me, and then proceeded to haul me around various ports of call and tell me things like, "You're a hunter, Kia. You need to go get a pet. Like, now." And, "You're a hunter, Kia. Stay out of melee, for the love of everything that is decent. Shoot things in the face. Let Jake do the hard work."

So we start parading around Azeroth, kicking low-level mob butt, and we worked our way up the leveling ladder wicked fast, because of the aforementioned triple xp. I remember skipping level 55 entirely. Not kidding. I had finished about eight or nine quests, got Ava to pop on Deciduous and meet me to turn them in, and I went straight from 54 to 56. After 60, the triple xp wears off, so then I had a nice grind on my own to get to 70 before Wrath came out. I made it with three weeks to spare, and spent those three weeks on the Isle of Quel'Danas, desperately trying to make some money and getting ganked out of my mind. To this day, I still detest PvP. Anyway, by the time Wrath finally arrived, I had been sponsored into LOKI, had had my first and only Kara run (BOTH the gun and the bow dropped for me ON THE SAME RUN. TOTALLY EPIC), and had a whole group of people (OP Black Temple raiders, no less) to run with.

So, what's the point to all this nonsense? Just this.

I had no clue what it was like to really level by myself.

Now, I hear what you're saying.

"But, Feathers! You're a whining pansy! Do you know how much they've nerfed since I leveled my first toon! Blizz has all but handed you the first sixty levels! Back in my day, you had to walk until level 40!" /shake cane and scowl.

Yes, I understand that. However, this is about me, not you, so stuff a sock it in. I've started a new character on a new server. Of course, she's still a hunter, and I actually named her Kialesse again, but that's irrelevant. The point, which I am desperately driving towards, is to chat idly (read: whine) about some of the idiosyncrasies (read: sucky parts) of leveling that I missed realizing the first time around. Baby Kia is only level 25, as of an hour ago, so I imagine there will be a couple more (whiny) posts as I fumble my way toward 80 again. So, I begin with:

Bag space, and it's equally rare companion, Money. No, not Shaft. I'm not talking about the Money. I mean coinage. You know, currency. Gold, people, for the love! That which one pays out to trainers and people who sell you Ice Cold Milk and Sharp Arrows. Seriously, the first thing Ytt did when we started our characters was to hop on her tailor and make us a slew of these and send them in the mail along with I can't remember how much cash. Enough that I didn't need to worry about whether I could pay to learn how to Track Beasts. Ever since then, for every alt I've started (I think it's in the area of mayhap a dozen - there are currently 7 alts living on Darkspear) the first thing I've done is jump on Big Kia and send New Alt a bunch of bags and money.

However.

When one is starting on a new server and one doesn't HAVE a maxed out character with a couple thousand gold just gathering dust in one's bank, one is Out Of Luck. One must therefore actually go out and, like, earn the money to pay for Track Beasts and Sharp Arrows and Ice Cold Milk. Which becomes a horrifying balancing act along the lines of that which is frequently seen in Cirque du Soleil. "Oh noes!" one is heard to cry. "I have but fifteen silver! It will cost me twenty-two to learn Scorpid Sting! GAHHH!!!"

/facepalm.

Second, Traveling. Seriously, Blizz. Did you have to make the zones so bloody large?

/waits for the outcry of "Feathers, you're Alliance! You don't have to deal with THE BARRENS!" to die down.

I submit for your perusal the following:

See that arrow way, way at the top of Darkshore? That's me. See the little QuestHelper question mark way, way at the bottom of Darkshore? That's where I'm going. Sweet mercy.

Yes, I KNOW that Blizz JUST nerfed the first mounts so that you can get them at level 20. I'm very well aware. However, it still costs 4 gold to train and buy a mount. When I dinged 20, I had 37 silver. I intentionally went to Bloodmyst Isle, just to blitz through content that would give me enough money to buy the bloody thing. And it did, eventually. After I ran around like crazy, a mad killing machine slaughtering everything in my path for the 97 copper which it dropped. I learned that my favorite NPCs in the game are the Flightmasters.

In my screenshots folder, that picture is seriously titled "Thank God, A Flightmaster". 'Cause, darn it, the run from Auberdine to Astranaar is LONG.

Finally (for now, there will be other things to whine about later. I haven't made it to Stranglethorn yet, see?), weird questing patterns. This is totally a vanilla WoW thing that I didn't know the first time around, because as I've said, I was young and naive and completely clueless. It doesn't apply to the lands added for either BC or Wrath, presumably because by then, the designers had learned their lessons and neatly organized the questing in the new zones. Seriously, the draenai starting zones? LOVE THEM. Everything goes in gorgeous concentric circles around well-stocked villages. This is probably why I love draenai SO. FREAKIN'. MUCH. and have at least four draenai alts that I can think of off the top of my head. Bloodmyst Isle is like heaven. I even like all the red.

However.

Once you hit 20 and tie up all the ends in Bloodmyst, then you have to go to Azeroth proper, and then all hell breaks loose.

At one point, Baby Kia had quests in Ashenvale, Stonetalon Mountains, Wetlands, Dun Morogh, Elwynn Forest and Darkshore. Simultaneously. Really. It was enough to make me want to weep. It takes days to get anywhere, and once you do get there, then you have to take days to get back again.

Oh, fine. You're still going on about how much worse it used to be. I know, I know, I know. Cut me some slack, yeah? In a way, this is the first time I'm doing this alone. I reserve the right to whine about leveling. I will continue to do so until I get to 80, and can find a whole new world of things to whine about.

...

Oh, and apologies for the Wall of Text critting you for 9000. Go visit Aertimus, she's a wicked good healer and will make it all better. Plus, she hardly ever whines.

Yet More Evidence That "Leet" And "Epic" Are Not Synonymous

So, exciting times in Azeroth last night.

Shaft, our MIA blogger (he says hi, btw), went into Ulduar with Aertimus and Yakra and their usual crew. He came out the other side with this...

Champion of Ulduar.

Holy. Moses.

Okay, so I already acknowledged that my blogmate (blogbuddy? co-blogger? I dunno.) Moneyx could out-hunter me any day of the week, even with a level 60 pet and a Bouquet of Red Roses equipped. Er, except I think Shaft's roses are black. Anyway. However, this was such a jaw-droppingly stunning reminder of said fact that I nearly whimpered over Vent, where I was eavesdropping on their instance. I do that a lot. I managed to restrain myself, barely, and simply /bowed at his feet.

Fortunately for me, still stuck plowing away in the Caverns of Time leveling my rep with the Keepers, Shaft was more than ready to throw the weight of his new title around on some dragonkin. After listening to me whine about how I couldn't manage to get all the adds and down the Rift Lords in Black Morass, he came down to help.

With two of us (one of us being totally OP), Black Morass fell victim to my voracious appetite for Achievements wicked fast, as you can well imagine.

"But, Feathers!" you say. "Why were you trying to level rep with the Keepers of Time?? Nobody cares about the Keepers of Time anymore! They're Burning Crusade! They're irrelevant and inconsequential!"

This is true. However, there is one thing for which you need to be at least Honored with Keepers of Time, and that is the Key of Time. It used to be that you could only get that at Revered, but like so many other things, it got a hit from the Nerf Bat come Wrath. And, since I'm a child of Wrath (only been playing a year, mates), I had never so much as stepped foot in the Cavern before, like, last week. So I runs Durnholde Keep a couple times, gets Shaft's help with Black Morass, and...

Boom, baby! THE KEYMASTER.

Okay, I understand that Keymaster has got nuthin' on CHAMPION OF ULDUAR. However, it just signified the most important difference (ahem, the most important non-gender difference) between Shaft and Feathers:

Shaft is LEET.

Feathers is EPIC.

Ha. So there, Shaft.

There Are Reasons For Why I Can't Wait For My Alts To Get Mounts...

Naturally, one reason is because the bloody early zones are SO STINKIN' LONG. Does anyone else remember the quest in Darkshore where the quest giver (Oro? Some kind of tree spirit thingy? Wears lanterns as earrings?) is at one end of the zone and the quest mobs are at the other?

However, the biggest reason I can't wait for mounts is because I look at my quest log, my character page, my professions screen, whatever, while running..

... and I run into trees. All. The. Time.

"But, Feathers!" I hear you say. "How does getting a mount keep you from running into trees??"

<_<

>_>

<_<

Um.

It, ah... doesn't.

NElf BM Hunter, LF WoW WingWoman

Guys, we ladies know you have them, and it's no secret. He's standing at the bar with you, looking bored and watching the game on the big screen over the top-shelf liquor while you scent the air, searching for your prey. You may think that we don't know that you're going to send him over to scope out the territory to see if we are, perhaps, interested. We know. He is your RL hunter-pet, a ferocious, cunning, or perhaps tenacious warrior on your behalf. He is your wingman.

I am now about to divulge a Girl Secret.

/looks about furtively to see if the Girl Police are listening.

Girls have wingmen, too.

Okay, we don't call them wingmen, and we almost never send them into battle, even though they can be as ferocious, cunning, or tenacious as any guy wingman. No, this would in fact pre-empt her primary class functions, which she is freakin' brilliant at.

See, here's where the secret comes in...

Wingmen are hunter pets, WingWomen are shamans.

A good WingWoman can take a hit for you if necessary, has a terrific collection of jewelry that you can use, and can and will throw a heal if the particular boss you're taking down (i.e., the scumbag Brad-Pitt-lookalike rich-as-Midas investment banker) happens to rip your heart to shreds. After the healing, then she'll let loose a flood and rip him to shreds. It's classic, beautiful, and a wonder to watch.

However.

These magnificent and utterly unreplaceable talents are not even the most important duty of a WingWoman. She has yet another task, one that she and she alone is qualified to do.

Buffing. Especially, pre-pull buffing.

Is my slip showing? Am I wearing matching shoes? Do these earrings scream, "Pull me off!" to you? The lipstick... is it too red? Does this dress make my butt look like the backside of a barn?

See, we can ask a guy these questions until we're blue in the face, and if he is at all interested in getting some action later, he knows exactly the right answers for them. And that is all well and good. But if we really, really want a real answer, we must and should turn to our WingWoman. She is our go-to buffer. Girl, you are smokin'. Not those shoes, though - wear these. And tone down the eyeliner; you look like Buffy Does Goth. These are important... nay, vital needs that she is fulfilling. Our WingWomen are all about the details, because when one is trying to land that particularly big fish, details matter.

And if necessary, when things are looking particularly bleak, she can toss a Heroism and save the day.

"Particularly Fine-Looking Nice Guy, have you met my friend, Feathers? She's on the cover of Important and Prestigious Magazine next month for her role in the development of Important and Prestigious New Geegaw!"

Thank you, WingWoman. /buys her a beer.

I can hear what you're saying.

"This is fascinating stuff, Feathers, but what's it got to do with WoW?"

What, the whole shaman-hunter-pet analogy wasn't enough for you? Sigh. Fine.

See, here's the thing. I have decided that I am desperately in need of a WoW WingWoman. Someone who will say, "Kia, you're not wearing any pants." Or, "Kia, don't you think that it would be a good idea to take some Honeymint Tea with you before you go try to take down Ulduar?" Or even, "Kia, it really would be beneficial if you equipped a weapon before you pull a boss that spawns immune-to-arrows elemental adds." Especially one who knows my DIRE need to get Achievements, and thus would have said something before I went to Sethekk Halls to grind rep and get the finish achievement.

Look really closely... really really closely... at my left hand. Yes indeedy, Internets. That's me, Kialesse of Darkspear, standing in Sethekk Halls in front of a dead Darkweaver Syth armed with my Bouquet of Red Roses.

No, this is not a joke.

After about six deaths, I figured out when to time the Mend Pets and the Feign Deaths and the Kill Shots and so forth. Jake and I managed to take him down eventually. However, I couldn't finish the instance before it was time for me to go sing karaoke (yes, I do; I'm bloody good, and that's a story for another day), so I had to come back after about three hours and do the whole place again. This time, having FINALLY noticed that I didn't actually have my shiny purple dagger on my person, Jake and I one-shotted the nasty pest.

Therefore, this is a cry for help. Lady WoW players on Darkspear, I need your help. I'm going to be the one running around Dalaran, still looking for that last stupid carrot. Kindly pat me on the head, smile warmly, and privately mention that I'm still in Viper and that the loser gnome I'm running around with is going to ditch me when a younger, prettier, higher-DPS hunter comes along. Trust me, your assistance will be received most gratefully. I'll even buy you a beer at Legerdemain. We can ogle Arille together. It will be fun.

So, Here's the Thing

This was entirely Aertimus's idea. I had nothing to do with this. In terms of blogging expertise, I stand somewhere slightly above a golden gerbil. Not that there's anything wrong with gerbils, you understand, it's just that they aren't generally renown for a great deal of mad skillz when it comes to the whole blogging thing. So, I, me, Kia, would never have started a blog myself. Not ever. Especially not one about World of Warcraft. Like I said, this was not my idea.

However.

That doesn't necessarily mean that it was a bad idea, you understand, just not mine.

Oh, and for the record, it wasn't really Money's idea, either. From what he tells me, he's just as inept. Fortunately for you all, we're both wicked funny, which is much better than being wicked ept, anyway. If you're looking for ept, there's a whole world of WoW blogs out there that will serve you much better. Go forth and conquer.

None of which actually tells you why this blog exists. I'm getting there. Patience, young Padawan, patience. See, it was Aertimus's idea. Money and I were just rolling along in Violet Hold with Aert and her hubby Yakra and our guildie Ujelang, who really was a trooper about all the insanity that was going on in the Hold. Fortunately, it's VH, right? I mean, there are dragons and all, but you shoot them and they die. Sure, I was totally distracted and in Viper for half the time. Nobody died, right? Except the dragons? Oh, and that big puppy dog.

So, we're just shooting things in the face, cracking up the whole time, because like I said, Money and I are wicked funny, and Aertimus says, probably inspired by the mass insanity all around her... "You two should have a blog."

Laughter. It was funny! Me, a blogger! Not hardly. We more or less ignore her and keep shooting dragons in the face. Money does it better than I do. However, Aertimus isn't to be denied, and in between the laughing and the shooting the dragons, she says, "All you need is a name."

I'm still ignoring her (which is totally okay, because Aert's a good friend and we've known each other for ages and I'm actually in one of the pictures on her blog. No kidding. This one. That's me, on the mammoth. I'm very attractive, aren't I?). However, there's this moment after a (probably bawdy, Money excels at bawdy) joke that Yakra, he of the massive tanking skills, says...

"SHAFT AND FEATHERS."

O. M. G. Aertimus just about dies (IRL - Aert never dies in WoW, she's an epic healer), and in between the dying and the laughing and the shooting the dragons in the face, she goes and makes a blog called Shaft and Feathers and puts Money and me in charge of it. What was she thinking? Genius, really. I've always admired that tree.

So here we are - brand-new WoW hunter blog. It will not be the first blog you run to for the latest theorycrafting or numbercrunching. In fact, it won't be the last blog you run to, actually. There are no numbers here. I'm allergic. However, it will be an entertaining look at what two hunter bloggers who don't take the game seriously very much or take themselves seriously at all. We both play nelf hunters, and we're both in LOKI, an end-game progression guild in Darkspear. There, the similarity ends. Money raids, I don't. With Money's help, LOKI's taken down Ulduar already; I'm terrified of Naxx. (It's just cause I die to Heigan EVERY SINGLE TIME.) Money has a wolf, is Marks/Survival, and has like all these fantastic purple clothes. I am still BM (and will be until the world ends. It will not change.), trip about with a kitty, and still get lost in Dalaran sometimes. As you can see, I'm not terribly forward thinking. Obviously, if you have any, like, real questions about playing a hunter (and if you do, talk to Pike - she's my WoW hunter goddess. /bows at Pike's feet.), you really, really need to direct them toward Money. I'm inept. I like to run around and shoot things and pet my kitty (Jake, best d@mn pet in the whole WoW world, I don't care if some stupid wolf can take him in dps one-pawed) and make leather things and collect pets. Money has killed Yogg-Saron; the pinnacle of my WoW life was the day I bought Pengu. However, if you need someone to talk to about how to go about loving on squirrels, I'm your girl. I loved that achievement. I'm pretty sure it's the first one I got, other than, like, Explore Dalaran. Yes, I know that Explore Dalaran is not, actually, an achievement. It should be. It would help those of us who get lost there all the time.

There you go, Internet. Money (the Shaft) and Kia (the Feathers), here to brighten your WoW adventuring with inanity. There's so much more where this came from. Be warned.

Oh, and blame Aertimus and Yakra. It was all their fault.

Welcome to Feathers and Shaft!

Kia and Money are a little nervous about this! I'm sort of forcing them into it and its their first time. But at 10:00 on a Monday night, this seemed like a GREAT idea.

And now I shall turn this over to my two favorite hunters on Darkspear!

(Psss... Look guys I wrote the first post, so now you are stuck!)

Love, Aert